Mama Monday #97

"Well, against all odds and advice from experts, I’m going to live like there is still hope. In fact, I’m going to be downright ridiculous about it. I’ll be defiant and stubborn, an absolute curmudgeon for hope.

I will be gentle with all my fears and heartbreak, the anxieties of being a person in this age at this moment. I’m going to take deep breaths and relax my jaw. I will remember that the Gospel is not in danger; it has survived everything from fascism to Christian nationalism to tradwives discourse before. The Good News isn’t nervous yet.

I will abandon everything that whispers that it’s best to give up, to stop trying, to give in to the despair. Everything holy has a bit of dirt on her chin and blood on her knuckles anyway.

Today, I will trust in the wisdom of elders who have seen it all and still speak of hallelujahs. I will assume faithfulness wins. I won’t forget that the outsiders are God’s insiders.

I’m going to make the coffee in the morning and hug my tall beautiful complicated children. I’m going to love these people in this house on purpose, with particularity, in completely ordinary ways. Watch my eyes light up when they walk in the room.

I’ll remember that I’m not alone, not by a long shot, because you are here and you are here and you are here and we are all doing our best to tip the scales towards goodness still. I’ll make plans like the world will survive us.

Today my friend became a grandmother and so I am going to pick out the yarn to knit that baby a sweater. It takes so much hope to have a baby, at the very least such a choice deserves a tiny sweater.

I’ll bless my appetites and my own hunger, I’ll gulp in the north wind that purifies and cleanses us. Then I’ll order some bedding plants for the garden because I still believe spring is coming.

I’m going to live as if everything will actually be made right someday and justice will prevail, tears will be wiped away and every exile will lead the dancing. Oh, I’m going to live my life like God is trustworthy. I’ll act like the underdog of love always comes from behind to win by total upset.

I’m going to say yes to the possibilities of participating in the renewal of all things even when they wear very small, ordinary disguises. I’m going to stay informed and stay sane at the same time.

I’ll keep loving this world until it breaks my heart and then I’ll sit in the pieces, holding onto love.

Today, I’ll write a poem and I’ll pray like it matters. I’ll practice resurrection¹ and I’ll build a habit of peacemaking and I’ll remember to take the meat out of the freezer for supper later.

I’ll go for a walk and when I see the bare trees beginning to bud after this long cold winter, I will consider a whole sermon. My heart will wave hankies and I just might shout Amen! at the clouds in the sky.

Today, I’m going to live like there is hope. It’s all I have and no one will take this from me."

-Sarah Bessey