Mama Monday #102

"But here’s the strange truth: Joy does not wait for life to make sense again or get “better.”

It shows up still. Sometimes in small, almost ridiculous ways.

In the phlebotomist who made a joke at exactly the right moment and suddenly I wasn’t afraid.
In the way my son’s hair smelled after a bath, which reminded me of all the other times and all the moments that are to come.
In the story my best friend told about her ex-boyfriend, which took us apart laughing and reminded us that our love is carrying us.

Not instead of fear or after fear.

But alongside it.

That’s the kind of joy I mean when I say “joyful anyway.” It is not about manufacturing a feeling or faking it until you make it. But a way of noticing that even here—especially here—there are still moments that take us outside of ourselves for a second. That transcendent kind of feeling that reminds you life is still worth loving. Because no, we will not always be happy. But we can experience joy anyway.

Here is my prayer for you. As you face down fear, may there be moments that interrupt the spiral just long enough for you to catch your breath. May your fear be allowed to be fear. And may joy—quiet, flickering, stubborn—find you anyway. Not because everything is okay or because you’ve figured it out. But because even here, life is still reaching for you. And when you cannot feel it, may others carry it for you." 

-Kate Bowler